As I sat working and sipping my coffee in a cafe, I overheard two people nearby. It was obvious immediately that there was a job interview going on. (Yep, poor manners for that manager to interview someone in a public place.) The woman being interviewed was asked what she would be bringing to the job. When she was unable to answer this question, my heart sank. I wanted to slip a note to her, “Call me. I can help you get in touch with your strengths so you nail the next interview.” 

I don’t know anything about this woman’s situation. Why she was unprepared for this interview. What prevented her from seeing her value and sharing that with this employer. But I am acquainted with self sabotaging behavior. And from the next table, that’s what this sounded like.

Self sabotage occurs when our conscious mind and our subconscious mind are in a struggle with each other. We don’t really have two minds, but we do have different aspects of our one mind. They each have a role to play. That’s why when we move toward something we want, our behavior doesn’t always follow along…….

“The conscious mind determines the actions, the unconscious mind determines the reactions; and the reactions are just as important as the actions.” ~E. Stanley Jones

Neuroscientists and Psychologists argue about the distinctions of ‘conscious’ and ‘subconscious (unconscious) mind. This is my observation of human behavior over years of experience.

Our rational mind may say “I want to do x,y and z.”  So you begin to do x, y and z. However, x, y and z may be outside our comfort zone. All kinds of roadblocks begin to show up. This is our subconscious reacting to the ‘new’, saying, ‘Whoa! Danger! Slow Down! — or run in the other direction!” Whatever aspect of the ‘NEW’ triggers this response, the subconscious has a job to do. Keep the Status Quo. Security and safety. If you are making plans for change, but blocks keep appearing, the problem could be YOU. 

What to do? Awareness of our emotional life is key. Paying attention to how you are feeling as you step out into untried territory. So is acknowledging the roles of our conscious and subconscious mind that are in dynamic relationship with each other.  Asking yourself the questions, “What is this situation trying to tell me?” “Where do I feel fearful?” If you are curious about how all of this might relate to you, your hopes for change, and your blocks along the road, ask those questions here.

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