Aid for the Confounded

So you want to take some action, but with so many variables  piling up, even the most dedicated mathematician would throw in the chalk. Like a restaurant menu with 300 entrees, you have too many choices,  which makes choosing impossible — ironic isn’t it? Then you figure, every choice has a consequence. And when you start calculating that out?  You’re tangled into knots, you cry, and then you quit. Back where you began.
Being stuck feels awful. Stuck in a job? Stuck in a relationship that makes you unhappy? Stuck in boredom? Stuck in a cycle of soul sucking hyperactivity. Should I marry that guy? Should I retire? Should I take that job across the country? Should I get a divorce?
Stymied. Stumped. Stuck. But thinking about the alternatives gives you hives.Screenshot 2015-06-24 16.11.32
Surprise! This type of itch is a good thing. Because noticing the ick of stuck is the message you have been waiting for. When things get really uncomfortable, the energy begins to shift from inertia to response. There is a tipping point. And you are now leaning in the positive column. Don’t just think about it or worry about it. Make a plan for how you’re going to deal with it. Then do something about it. What to do? Here are a few ideas:
1. Dedicate some extra time to thinking and planning. Take yourself off on sabbatical for the weekend. Start making notes of all the possibilities. Remove all the ‘shoulds’. Include all the ‘wants’. Then zero in on the ideas that make your heart sing.
2. Get some coaching so you get a shortcut to the most effective strategies. (Of course I would suggest this. But I suggest it because my clients tell me it works. I’m here to be of service.)
3. Read some books written by folks who have ‘been there’ or have practical advice. There are lots of self help books with proven track records. Google your topic, see what comes up. Ask your friends for suggestions. Do a Facebook poll.
4. If it’s a relationship problem, seek a mediator or counselor (if all parties in the relationship are agreeable). If it’s a financial issue, enlist a financial advisor. There are great resources out there that are free too. Getting help before it becomes a crisis relieves a lot of stress.
5. If it’s a career decision you want to make, think about people you could reach out to in your circle who would be helpful. By talking with people you trust and have perspective, you can gather more information to help you make good decisions.
Any of these ideas are good. Just do something. Being so indecisive feels awful. Recognizing “this is me stuck”, is seeing the road sign. Let ‘stuck’ direct you to the first step. Now, get going.

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